I feel myself getting angry at the slightest little thing lately. I'm not really sure why, though I have my theories. They include: sugar, sleep, over-information and the inability to find an exit off the information super highway, powerlessness in the face of all that's happening around us on a day to day basis.
I'm sure any could be a culprit. I've had enough experience to know that anger unexpressed turns inward. I've had much experience in that. Anger turned outward feels ineffectual, though. I've always been frustrated by calm politicians, but I see that there is no solution in anger. It feels good, we need to get it out, but there is no common ground. There is nothing but scorched earth. Even when I express anger, I feel ridiculous about halfway through, and always feel the need to apologize. Lately I think it's just a surplus of information and nowhere to store it. Overwhelm and powerlessness. They're looking for a way out. Anger is the easiest way. There's no target; I'm not the kind of person who attacks anyone or anything. During a bout of this a few years ago I went to a batting cage and batted balls for an hour. That felt great. Exercise works, too. With the current yahoos in Congress stopping all discussion and blaming things on everyone but themselves, it's hard to even turn on the radio.
Meanwhile, I hear meditation helps.
I was amazed today at this young woman, Malala Yousafzai. I saw this clip of her on the Daily Show, explaining what she would think about being attacked, which she was, and the understanding she would show - that her first thought was anger, and then she reminded herself that anger would not help, only make her the same as her attacker. No wonder she may end up being the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. I know my problems do not compare to this, though they feel real nonetheless. I can only hope for some of her compassion and understanding, while also being grateful that I am not in a country where this threat is a daily reality.