Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Commander in Chief

Little Casting Tips I learned from watching Commander In Chief last night:

1. Cast as many young blondes in positions they seem unqualified for as possible.

2. Press Secretary is a really easy job, where you have to be only slightly informed, but cute. It's best if you have a little hair you can have fall in front of your face and look through it while tilting your head down.

3. If there is a "nemesis", you should have an evil woman by his side. Preferably blonde, and preferably reminiscent of Eleanor Parker as the baroness in "The Sound of Music". And pull her hair back--she'll look more mean. Oh, and evil people are always caught in the middle of a joke, laughing unaware as their dastardly plan has been foiled.

4. When casting children, even though the parents are brunette, make sure the older ones, who may actually have sex in the course of the series, are blonde. And hot. Especially the son, who will have sex in the third episode.

5. When there is a younger child, she can actually look like she would be the spawn of the two parents and be brunette, but that's okay, as she's not going to have sex.

6. Make sure it looks like the President and the First "Gentlemen" have sex, especially if you can make it happen within the first few epsiodes. Like, episode 3. And it's great if he can just tell her to go to bed and forget everything, and she does.

7. Try to have everyone on her staff and involved on her side be under 45. Then you can bring in an older Vice President to balance it out, and make it seem like someone has experience. Oh, and make sure the Secret Service are hot, too. Hopefully some young blondes in there as well.

8. Have the press corps look really thin and attrractive, except for one heavy, obnoxious lady who always interrupts when it's not her turn. Have her do it every time there's a press conference. Fat people are always obnoxious, right? Or jolly. And the women wear too much makeup and jewelry.

9. Don'e mention that she would be the youngest President in history as well as a woman, that way maybe no one will notice that no one looks like they have enough experience to do anything.

What's up with this series? I would have loved to hear the pitch on this. I'm sure they started with a good idea, but ended up with the OC set in Washington. "Hey, let's take out all the dialogue, character development, and interesting dramatic situations, but set it in Washington! Sounds great!--Oh!, and we'll make sure there's a lot of personal intrigue and promises of sex. Hot!" I really was hoping for something interesting, but any show that includes the line "I work in an oval office, but I still get backed into a corner", I am not sure deserves another viewing. Someone tell Peter Coyote to eat a burger or something. I'm worried.

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